Let’s face it, dating can be a challenge. Especially after college, when life gets busy with work and other commitments.
The days of meeting someone in class or at a party seem far behind.
So, what do you do? Enter online dating.
Online dating isn’t a new concept. It dates back to 1965 when Harvard students created the first computer dating service. Today, there are thousands of platforms catering to everyone’s preferences — religion, hobbies, sexual orientation, age, and more. And yes, there’s a good chance there’s one out there for you. For me, online dating became my reality after my breakup with Adam. Long-distance just didn’t work out, and my schedule kept me too busy to meet anyone in person. So, I dove into the world of online dating.
The Evolution of My Checklist
When you first start dating online, you usually have a long list of things you want in a potential partner. Education, religion, personality traits—the usual stuff. But as you date more, something magical happens: your checklist gets shorter and more refined. What once seemed non-negotiable might turn into something you’re open to, and what once was an absolute dealbreaker becomes a bit more flexible.
Through my experiences, I’ve come to realize just how much I’ve changed. At first, my checklist was full of dealbreakers, but over time, it’s been whittled down to just two key must-haves. The rest? A bit more flexible. And as I’ve met people, like Ray, Timothy, Ben, and Travis, I’ve learned valuable lessons about what truly matters.
- Ray taught me the importance of financial stability. It’s crucial to be independent, have a steady job, and live on your own.
- Timothy showed me that space is important in the early stages of dating. Trust me, no one wants to feel suffocated.
- Ben made me realize that chemistry is irreplaceable. Without that spark, things just won’t work.
- Travis helped me see that communication is key. It’s the foundation of any relationship.
The Power of Communication
Communication isn’t just important in a relationship; it’s everything. Whether you’re setting up a date, texting each other, or just chatting online, being open and clear about your feelings is essential. This is especially true when you’re first getting to know someone. You don’t want to leave them guessing about where they stand with you.
But even in this digital age, communication can get tricky. Which leads me to the painful reality of ghosting.
Ghosting: The Modern-Day Dating Curse
Ghosting is when someone stops responding to your texts, calls, or messages without any explanation. It happens—before or after your first date, or even after a few weeks of talking. It’s hard to figure out why it happens, but from what I’ve gathered, there are usually two reasons: they lost interest or they’ve found someone else.
If you’ve been ghosted, don’t take it personally. It sucks, but it’s not the end of the world. It might sting, especially when you don’t know why it happened. But remember, ghosting doesn’t have to define you. People do it because it’s easy and there’s no confrontation. You just stop replying, and bam—end of story. Still, it’s always nice if the other person has the decency to communicate if they’re no longer interested. You can avoid the awkward ghosting phase by just being upfront with your feelings.
Realistic Expectations: Not Every Date is Your Last
Now, let’s talk about expectations. We’ve all read the fairy tales where the princess meets her perfect prince, and they live happily ever after. But reality check: finding your Prince Charming is rarely as easy as those stories make it seem. Sure, there are love stories that seem like they’re straight out of a fairy tale, but more often than not, they are the exception, not the rule.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably read He’s Just Not That Into You, and learned that we’re all more likely to be the rule than the exception. But don’t let that discourage you. The odds of meeting someone online and building a lasting relationship are pretty good. In fact, about one-third of married couples met through online dating, and that number is expected to rise.
That being said, don’t jump to conclusions. Just because you meet someone online doesn’t mean they’re the one. Don’t start planning your six-month anniversary dinner after the first date. Stay optimistic, but keep your expectations in check. You never know who’s out there, but be realistic about what’s happening in the present moment.
What I’ve Learned So Far
Dating isn’t easy, but it’s a great way to learn about yourself and what you’re looking for in a partner. Every date is a chance to refine your checklist and figure out what’s important. Online dating has been a journey for me, full of ups and downs, but I’ve gained some valuable insights along the way.
It’s not always about finding the one right away. For now, I’m just enjoying the journey and waiting for my Prince Charming to finally ask for directions. Maybe he’s out there, lost in the world of online dating too.