In this article, dating coach Christopher Isaac explains the psychology behind human behavior and how understanding it can save you time in finding Mr. Right. He teaches you how to spot the 3 signs that a man may be secretly seeing other women or is thinking about being with other women.
Have you ever experienced the painful sting of discovering that the “great” guy you were dating was actually seeing other women behind your back? Unfortunately, this is more common than we’d like to admit, and it’s something many of the students I’ve coached have gone through.
But here’s the big question: how can you spot this situation before it hits you? Especially when all the advice you’re getting tells you, “Don’t be the crazy girlfriend who goes snooping in his phone looking for dirt.” Sounds confusing, right? Well, in this guide, I’ll show you how to figure it out without the need for suspicion or prying.
The Core Idea: Men Invest in What They Value
If you’re with a loyal man who truly values you, you’ll know because of how much he invests in you. And when I say “invest,” I mean his time, energy, and emotional resources. Why?
Because men invest in things they value.
Let me explain: a man will cheat if he values attention and validation from others—his friends, colleagues, or random women—more than loyalty and intimacy with his partner.
However, if a man values loyalty and intimacy with you—and I’m not talking about loyalty to friends or family (those don’t count)—he will invest time and effort into you and your relationship.
What This Means for You
If you’re wondering how to spot a man who may be seeing other women without diving into his phone or social media, the answer lies in his actions.
Is he comfortable blowing you off or ignoring your needs? Does he hide certain things from you or lie when confronted? Some men will become toxic in this way. They might pick fights, blame you for things, or make you feel guilty just to deflect attention from their behavior.
Other men, however, will emotionally distance themselves. They may start investing emotionally in other women, which leads to a lack of intimacy and connection in your relationship. When this happens, you’re no longer getting the attention you deserve.
One Key Concept: Investment Equals Value
Here’s the truth you need to understand:
A man may tell you he loves you, but if he stops investing in you, he doesn’t truly value you.
This concept is essential: investment and love are not the same things. You need both for a healthy, lasting relationship. If your partner isn’t emotionally invested in you, the relationship will eventually lose its spark.
What About the Ex?
What if you’re dating someone and you’re unsure whether he still has feelings for his ex?
Well, pay attention to how he invests in you. If he keeps you at an arm’s length and promises things will change in the future, it’s a red flag. It’s likely a sign that he’s still emotionally invested in his ex and can’t be as intimate with you as you deserve.
This doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you, but it does mean you shouldn’t settle for this behavior. You deserve someone who is fully present and ready to build a future with you.
So, How Do You Spot the “Right” Man?
Now, here’s the most important part: the right man will show you through his actions that he’s fully committed to building a life with you. He will:
- Create memories together
- Work towards a future where you both share mutual goals
- Make efforts to build a stable and lasting partnership
The right man adds value to your life and expects you to do the same for him. He’s emotionally and mentally healthy enough to build a relationship without needing constant validation from his peers or other women. His self-worth is internal, not dependent on social approval or insecurity.
The right man will not settle for a woman who is only interested in taking, because he values himself and expects the same from his partner.
Remember, actions speak louder than words. A man who truly wants to build a life with you will show it through his actions—not just by saying sweet things. When you start seeing these signs, you’ll know you’re with someone who is genuinely committed.