There are tons of books out there on how to get your ex back… but honestly? I don’t think it’s a great idea.
People become exes for a reason. And the only thing that keeps a couple together is if both people agree to work things out. That’s it. Simple.
That said, let’s dive into today’s question.
Brody K. McSuchnstuff Asks:
“My ex-girlfriend went on a date with another guy to test her feelings—whether she loved him or me more. We had even talked about marriage…
A couple of weeks later, I found out she chose him because he was ‘more her type.’ Since then, we’ve become best friends, and now she loves me more like a best friend…
All my friends tell me to move on, but I still love her. Dating someone else will just remind me of her. How can I win her love back?”
The Brutal Truth
This is a tough situation, and even as an optimist, I have to say: Things don’t look great for you.
You want to get back together—but the real question is:
💔 Why did her feelings change in the first place?
First off, what your ex did was, for lack of a better word, shitty.
Let’s be real: If she truly wanted to be with you, she wouldn’t have needed to test her feelings in the first place. And choosing the other guy proves she’s already made her decision.
Your friends are right—you should move on. Because here’s the reality: It takes two people to make this work.
The Hardest Step: Walking Away
The first thing I’d ask is:
✅ Have you told her how you feel?
✅ Have you told her being ‘just friends’ isn’t enough for you?
If you have, and she still doesn’t feel the same way, then you need to walk away.
Right now, your ex gets to have her cake and eat it too—she’s with the new guy, but she still gets to keep you as a friend.
That’s too much of a good deal for her. And according to the Urban Dater’s Bylaws of Dating & Mating, Bylaw 11, Section 4:
➡️ “In life, as in all things, there must be balance. If your significant other, friend, ex, or relative seems to be getting a good deal, it is well within your rights to mess up their ‘good deal.’”
Translation? She needs to lose something.
And that something is you.
You can’t force her to take you back. She has to reach that conclusion on her own.
My Personal Experience
I’ve been in your situation twice. Both times, it was destructive for me.
The First Love:
💔 She got back with her ex and wanted us to be friends.
💔 But you can never go back to how things were before.
💔 I had to walk away. It was painful—but necessary.
The Other Woman:
💔 My feelings were too deep, and staying friends was impossible.
💔 We stopped talking for three years before we could even be casual friends again.
💔 Now, there’s zero chance of romance—and I’m okay with that.
What You Need to Do
✔ Stop being friends with her.
Cut her off—for your own sanity and self-preservation.
✔ Give yourself time to grieve.
This is a loss. Treat it like one.
✔ Do NOT stalk her on social media.
Unfollow, mute, block—do what you need to do.
✔ Stay active and social.
Go to the gym. Go out with friends. Do things that distract you.
✔ Focus on yourself.
Your goals, your health, your happiness—make them a priority.
✔ When you’re ready, start dating again.
Not to “replace” her, but to remind yourself that love still exists.
But Wait… You Want the ‘Real’ Secret?
Alright, Brody K., I see you. You’re not looking for all this “move on” talk—you want the real goods on how to win her back.
Fine.
Here’s what you could do—just know that these are shady AF tactics, and they might just push her away forever.
1️⃣ Call her—but not too much.
Let her know you’re still there. Sometimes, playing the “wounded puppy” works—asking for her help with something might make her feel needed.
2️⃣ Cut her off—but with a reason.
Find something to blame her for—something that makes her feel guilty and makes her want to “make it up to you.”
3️⃣ Stay in your shared social circle.
Plan group outings where she’ll be there. If she brings the new guy, your friends need to help you out—they can “casually” drop hints about why he’s not right for her.
4️⃣ Bring another girl into the picture.
Find someone who genuinely likes you, someone you can date. Show your ex that your world doesn’t revolve around her.
🚨 Warning: These are manipulative tactics. And in most cases, they don’t work—they just make things worse.
Final Words
At the end of the day, Brody, you have two choices:
1️⃣ Be real with yourself. Accept that she’s moved on, and do the same.
2️⃣ Play games. Try to manipulate the situation, knowing it might backfire hard.
Either way, good luck, man. You’re gonna need it.